I'm not a Girl I'm a Boy
by HeyItsKerry
Summary: Just a little thing I wrote following Series 8 Episode 18 with Kasey's storyline Unraveling. Will her brother ever understand?


**Kaseys Pov**

Stupid Boston telling me to clean the stupid supply cupboard and then put the stupid textbooks on the stupid tables. Gaaaah. She reckons she understands what I am feeling. If only she really knew. If only they all knew the truth. Oh well it was all come out sooner or later. But I really wasn't in the mood for arguing with anyone so I paced a textbook on each table. I'm not usually one for getting all embarrassed, but I can honestly say that was embarrassing. Everyone finding out that I am actually a girl when I was passing perfectly fine as a boy. Suddenly I heard a loud thud.

What was that? I literally nearly jumped out of my skin, I turned around to see it was only Barry. Wait. Why is he locking the door. What is he doing?

"Is it true Kase?" His voice sounds threatening and dark, like he is angry with me. I don't want him to be angry at me. He's my big brother, I want him to comfort me. But No, not Barry. "Did you tell that Zoe that you're a boy,"

"I didn't tell her," Why was my voice trembling? I'm not scared of Barry. I'm not. "She made you is that it?" Barry cut across me. Gah I really wish he would stop doing that and just leave me be. "She reckons she can make herself feel better for fancying girls by making out you're a boy," "It wasn't like that," I shouldn't have to stand here and defend myself to my own big brother. "Then what was it like. Tell me," Why is he shouting. He's scaring me. Although I would never admit it. I looked to the floor, deciding what to say or do next. "Do you want the truth?" I found myself asking and when Barry nodded. I knew the jig was up and that was when I found my fingers fumbling with the buttons as I lifted my shirt up. Barry's face is a right picture, so it is.

"What have you done?" His vice was of absolute disbelief and confusion. I pulled my shirt back down right away, I was embarrassed. Why Barry? Why could it not of been Dynasty lecturing me. I have more trust in her and I know to expect her not to kick off the way Barry does. "I..I learnt how to do it on a website,"

"A website...what?" His voice was full of shock. "I didn't know I was looking for it, then I ended up going on it all the time," He cut me off again "Stop! Say no more," he backed away again. My own brother. Was he really thinking how much a freak I am? I needed his support, not for him to disown me. "Its about how to make yourself pass as a boy,"

"So this is like some sort of experiment, yeah?" _No. No it's nothing like that. Why couldn't he understand. _"Some prank.." "No," I just couldn't believe what he was implying, making out as if I were using myself as some lab rat or something.

"THEN WHAT IS IT THEN," _Why is he yelling. I don't like all the yelling. He's just making it worse than it should have to be. I have to tell him. I have to make him understand the way I do. _

"It's who I am," nodding I said, trying to make it look to him like I am being serious. "I...I can't help it Barry,"

"Are you a lesser, is that what this is all about?" _Oh boy did he have it so wrong. _"It's got nothing to do with it," I was snapping at him, was this all he thought it was about? I don't even know what this is about. My mind is confused. I don't even know what I want. "It's about me...my body," my voice was cracking. "It's not right...and it's not mine," All the time I kept my eyes on his face, for change of expression. "Today was supposed to me some sort of test,"

"What?" I could tell he wasn't following.

"To see if I could really do it, be who I am. properly," His reaction was not what I expected. Shock, confusion, anger. It was all written over his face.

"This is my fault, all of it," _What? Why is he blaming himself? He has nothing to do with this... _"Always letting you tag along with me...treating you like one of the lads.." I shook my head furiously. _You have it all wrong Barry, It's not like that... _"No wonder you got confused.." He then grabbed me by my hoody. _What is he doing..._ "I'm going to fix this Kase, I'm gonna make it all better... You want to be normal don't you?"

"I just want to be me,"

"You are a Girl and I'm going to make you realize it," Barry angrily shouted as he tightly held me with one hand and emptied Rhiannon's make up bag with the other. What was he doing? He is scaring me. I mean, I know Barry can be a little...yeah, but I've not seen him react like this in a long time. Why can't he be as supportive as Mr Clarkson or Zoë. But again this is Barry. And that's when I seen it, he grabbed the eye liner and started smearing it over my face. I don't like it, It's not me. It's not me at all. _Get off me. Barry. Get off. _I am scared and mentally screaming at myself.

"HELP! Somebody help me!" I wanted him to let go off me, he was smothering all sorts on my face. Lip stick, Blusher, Eye shadow. No. No. This is not me. "Somebody. Help," "Barry! Barry let her go! Let me in... Unlock this door," That was Miss Diamond's voice. She needs to help me. I'm scared of my brother. The only thing to get free, I bite him. "OW!" Barry yelps as I bolt to the door, unlocking it. "I'M NOT A GIRL... I'M A BOY," I shout furiously before burying myself in to Sian's open embrace. Frightened. I was then followed Sian to the pastoral Care office.

**Barrys POV**

I can't believe it. No. Not our Kasey, not my baby sister. This is just a phase and she is going to grow out of it. She hasn't always been like this, I mean when she was five, that was when it changed mostly, before that sure she loved a kick a bout with me but she was proper girly. In to her dollies and the colour pink, it started to change when she started primary school, instead of walking around with a pram and baby doll. She loved to run around with a football. Instead of her pigtails, she literally begged mum to let her cut her hair in to a short bob. She was only six years old. Then she started wanting to wear track suit bottoms instead of girls Jeans. Foot ball shirts instead of pretty blouses. I always thought it was just a phase.

I bring my wallet from my pocket. There is a picture in there of our family years ago. Kasey was four. Dynasty was 6 and I were 7. Mum and dad both looking reasonably happy in the picture. But Kasey, she was dressed up in a pretty pink top and skirt, her hair was in pigtails. This was before she wanted to change. I miss that Kasey. My baby sister.

"How could you Barry! She's still our sister!" I look up to see Dynasty barging in to the cooler, where they actually trust me to be on my own for a few minutes. _Wow freedom._

"Don't you mean he?" I found myself snapping back.

"Oh Barry grow up will ya, you sound so Pathetic... Kasey is confused and she needs us more than anything," Dynasty has a point there, but I can't help it. Where did we go so wrong with Kasey? Was it something I did, Mum, Dyn?

"She was crying Barry... Kasey! Our Kasey, she never crys," Now that is like a punch in the face. I made my own baby sister cry. I never intended for that to happen. I guess the real question is. What will mum think about it? I mean yeah like the rest of us, she has tolerated Kasey wearing boys clothes, carrying a football all the time. Just thinking it was a phase. I have no idea how she will react now. But that part will need to wait, I guess what needs to be done now is me accepting this. But will I ever?

**What did you think? Did you like it? Wondering If I should make this in two a Two shot? Please review. (:**


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